Volatile View Outside! [cassette]

Songs of Freedom & Joy [compact disc]

The Slippery Slope by Joseph Larkin [paperback book]

More Songs of Freedom & Joy [compact disc]

Join the Teen Set on Also-Ran! [a delightful scam]

Twenty-five copies of this dismal compilation cassette were dubbed during the summer of 2001 and were freely given to any person bold/foolish enough to ask for a copy. Five more copies were later dubbed sans artwork for some reason. All in all, a steaming pile o’ shit that is thankfully no longer being produced—the superior cuts from this cassette were remixed, as it were, and collected on the Songs of Freedom & Joy CD along with a number of better tracks .

Tracklisting:

SIDE AYE:

1. Paul Ivey: “Anna Noise”
2. Paul Ivey: “Jeweled Mask”
3. Paul Ivey: Positively Grace Street”
4. Ehrenborg Posse Fruitgum Company: “The Rhythmic Impetus”
5. Ehrenborg Posse Fruitgum Company: “Syllables of Destiny”
6. Sheila Miles: “Love Syrup”
7. Frombert: “Max Factor”
8. Miki Tamura Medley
9. The Helmets of Embarrassment [This is not the actual name of the band...the actual name of the band was long ago forgotten...apologies are extended to the victims’ families—ed.]: “Queen Mary”
10. Stab: “Magical Unicorn” [This song is a hateful piece of shit...stab Stab—ed.]
11. Casiotone for the Painfully Alone: “Lab Partner Love Song” [That is probably not the actual title of the song...there’s a pretty good possibility that Casiotone for the Painfully Alone has no idea that his song appears on this cassette...anyway, this song is another smirking piece of shit...do yourself a favor and leave Casiotone for the Painfully Alone well enough alone—ed.]
12. The Sinner Kids Underpop Association: “The Hangman’s Come on” [Ugh... Heed the hangman’s come on and hang it up, Kids—ed.]
13. The Sad Professor: “Max Factor” [The original...there can be only one Highlander—ed.]

SIDE BEE:

1. [Police Scanner]
2. BTS vs. GYBE! [Noted Pretentious Asshole Brian Thomas Smith talks to a member of Godspeed You Black Emperor! about Pearl Jam of all things—ed.]
3. [More Police Scanner]
4. The bbc: “Road” [Slightly edited—ed.]
5. Stephen McCarty Medley (“The Ohio River”/“One Hundred Babies in My Chest”) [There’s a pretty good possibility that SM has no idea that his songs appear on this cassette—ed.]
6. Coyote McCloud [Named after a radio DJ in Nashville—ed.]: “Louie Louie”
7. [Still More Police Scanner]
8. [Filler]
9. The bbc: “Joseph”

A very poorly Xeroxed booklet was included with the first twenty-five copies of the Volatile View cassette.

Take me back to the top!

Tracklisting:

1. Paul Ivey: “Anna Noise” [instrumental] (3:49)
2. Amerigo: “No.5” (4:40)
3. Frombert: “Max Factor” (1:40)
4. The Crispin Glover Experience: “Not 4 Rape on Me” (4:41)
5. A Thug’s Life: “Nigger Work” (1:05)
6. Stinkbot: “Love Syrup” (3:49)
7. Snatch Machine: “I Wish U Could Feel What U Do 2 Me” (11:38)
8. Hot Sundae: “Big John’s Theme” (0:56)
9. Rope Burn: “There Ain't No Cops In Heaven, Babe” (3:49)
10. The Heck Whistles: “No Stranger 2 Danger” (7:11)
11. Hot Beef Injection: “Finger You Tonight” (0:19)
12. The Natalies: “Drunk at Your Funeral” [medley] (6:04)
13. World O’ Vomit: “Accidental Vampire” (0:17)
14. Amerigo: “Free Yourself” (2:55)
15. The Falling Actions: “Course ‘n’ Free” (0:14)
16. More Than August: “Who Wants Cake?” (5:52)
17. Crooked Dildo: “From the Snoball Stand 2 the E-Z Serve” (2:12)
18. Indian Burial Ground: “Louie Squared” (0:34)
19. Gamma Lights: “Senses Cease” (4:10)
20. Partial Birth Abortion: “The Devil’s Already Got Stephen” (6:19)
21. Pivey: “Jeweled Mask” (5:11)
22. Grey Jellö: “Arrogant Little Prick” (1:08)
23. Piss-Wand: “PayPal My Heart” (1:06)

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The Slippery Slope is a shitty little book that contains one short story, two plays and a heck of a lot of typos. The Slope says roughly the same thing in one hundred and sixty pages that Jonathan Richman said in less than five minutes in his Modern Lovers’ classic “She Cracked.” The writing in this book is crummy and rather puerile to boot—avoid The Slippery Slope at all costs. Seriously, do not buy this book! Donating six dollars to NAMBLA would almost be a better use of your cash than purchasing this piece of shit! One thousand copies of The Slippery Slope were printed in August of 2002, many of which were destroyed three years later by flooding caused by Hurricane Katrina, thus proving that Hurricane Katrina wasn’t all bad after all.

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If you hated Songs of Freedom & Joy, you probably won’t like More Songs of Freedom & Joy either. Though one thousand copies of this CD were pressed in January of 2005, More Songs of Freedom & Joy has no good reason to exist.

Tracklisting:

1. Blood Facial: “Hail, Wormy King!” (1:35)
2. Wonderkabinet [sic]: “Speak & Spell Tonite” (3:20)
3. Go Metric: “Wyoming” (2:58)
4. Rockets Dead Glare: “You Turn Me on and Then I Turn on You” (0:10)
5. “I Am Jesus and I Am King of the Jews!!!” (0:53)
6. “Blood Is a Special Substance” (1:37)
7. Black Kites over Coalinga, CA: “Filled with New Wine” (0:36)
8. Friendly Fire: “They Want Your Blood” (0:36)
9. Baptism of Blood: “The Suck Is on” (1:14)
10. Rape-Baby: “It Lifts Us Downward” (0:28)
11. Five-Way Tie for Last: “Party Time” (0:29)
12. Pink Taco: “TLC” (1:31)
13. Benevolent Monster: “Chinese Instrumental Song” (1:09)
14. Sicily: “Do What You Do” (6:16)
15. Sicily: “Conjugate” (4:44)
16. “Doug E. Fresh Dials the Larkin Household at the Request of His Corporate Masters” (1:13)
17. “Now It’s Dark” (8:55)

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JOIN THE TEEN SET ON ALSO-RAN

Be a leader of THE TEEN SET! All you need to do is buy a bunch of these superior Also-Ran releases to be “in the know”! You don’t want to waste a moment! Only a fool is unafraid of death!