Every time Also-Ran sells something an angel gets its wings.

All of these items are available for purchase through PayPal. Fast, secure, sexy PayPal.

You can also buy these items by making a check or money order out to Joseph Larkin and sending it along with a Polaroid of yourself in your sexiest undergarments to:

Joseph Larkin
144 Willow Wood Drive
Slidell, LA 70461
USA

All items are postage paid. None of the items up for sale will ever be repressed/reprinted, so buy now before they’re all gone. Cough.

 
 

If you hated Songs of Freedom & Joy, then you’ll probably hate More Songs of Freedom & Joy as well. Buy this compact disc and find out the hard way that these colors don’t run!!! THIS IS NOT A CD-R!

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Two years in the making, Songs of Freedom & Joy is a compilation CD that celebrates the minor achievements of the Saturday Self-Mutilation Support Group. Pick up a copy for someone you love and let the healing begin! THIS IS NOT A CD-R!

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The Slippery Slope is a slim volume of semi-autobiographical ranting that is made up of one short story, two plays and a heck of a lot of sharply focused rage; The Slope says roughly the same thing in one hundred and sixty pages that Jonathan Richman said in less than five minutes in his Modern Lovers’ classic “She Cracked.” The writing in this book is poorly executed and rather puerile to boot—avoid The Slippery Slope at all costs. THIS IS NOT A CD-R!

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Six new Also-Ran stickers in one convenient Fun Pack! Use these stickers to cover all those damn “Obey” stickers! Tell Andre the Giant & his Posse to fuck off and buy these stickers instead! Put these stickers all over a car belonging to someone you hate!
 
Remember: “You are not what you own.”